


Jafar Wars - The Pain Train Does Not Stop

by zero



Series: Jafar Wars Episode 1 [3]
Category: Aladdin (1992), Friday the 13th Series (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Masterpiece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 05:00:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2800484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zero/pseuds/zero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the pain train is unchained, never to be chained again</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jafar Wars - The Pain Train Does Not Stop

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Grom Hellscream](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Grom+Hellscream).



> it turned out i was tagging things wrong before. theres no shipping in any of this. im sorry to mislead you. but arent the true ships in our... hearts?
> 
> also please understand: all of jasons spoken lines are internal monologue. there will be a prompt for scene audio  
> this part was written in 2 pieces, the second of which is the Wolflord's Tale

harry: welcome aboard the pain train  
jason: its not a train of any kind. its little more than a motorcycle with a sidecar attached. he makes me get in the sidecar, and we proceed toward the gap of the forest  
harry: WOO! YEAH!!!!!!! FOREST TIME BABY!!!! THE PAIN. TRAIN. DOES. NOT. STOP!!!  
jason: crikey!

the beloved pair jettison towards the looming trees. dappled sunlight floods their retinas. harry lowers his flip up shades. jason, of course, puts on goggles over his mask. there is much to be done.  
overland they speed through copses and valleys.

harry: we are hunting for the one imbecile who knoweth the secret of the lords power. he is camouflaged. he fought in the old wars, the star wars. he wore his coat long then... long indeed

a loud growl is heard underfoot. birds scatter from the treetops. a howler monkeys cry responds. its a jungle... in there...  
night falls and they make camp

harry: *gazing into the flickering gloom* i dont know who i am any more, jason. who are any of us? what is to be done? a specter is haunting europe...  
jason: *glances sideways, completely disinterested in harrys brain stew*

twigs snap in the bush

harry: aha! jason, grab a rifle. i will use my hunter in the treachery pocus and presto! presto. the tracks that would have been. *he waves his wand and lo, glowing marks*  
jason: *grabs rifle, motioning toward the tracks that appear in gold, garnet and jasper*  
harry: dont just stand there, follow him!  
*low, wolfish growl emerges from the darkness*

theres no need for the pair to follow the trail. atop an immense fallen log of a redwood rides the warrior of the stars, in his trademark tropical shirt and ray bans

(Smash Mouth - All Star)

it is none other than chewie the chewbaccan, werescourge of the skies.

chewie: *growls* (glad to be back, boys)  
harry: gadzooks!

he carries a gleaming machine gun that sparkles with the dazzle of seven trillion billion squillion suns even in the depths of the inky forest

chewie: *growls* (it isnt safe here comrades. the muncher is here)  
harry: lets fly  
chewie: *low growl* (i dare not fly)  
harry: run then!  
chewie: *fierce snarl* (first i must tell you my story)  
chewy begins his story as the audience waits in awe


End file.
